Farewell Cookie

...it was a good three days.

Last night, Nathan came home from work and he found Cookie dead.  He found Cream in a heap, mewing pitifully near the garage.  He brought the poor creature (Cream) into the house in his arms.  And my heart just broke.

Roxie can't play nice.

I took Cream to the sink, and washed her all down and soaped her all up. She was just as limp as could be. I wrapped her up in a towel and dried her off and fed her warm milk in a medicine dropper.  Poor Kitty.

I cried over my dirty dishes.

I have never been a lover of cats.  I could've cared less before.  I don't know if it's the fact that they are my responsibility, or the fact that I'm a mother now, but it just broke my heart.  I vowed to nurse her to good health.

She's practically as good as new today.

I keep thinking how silly it is to be so emotional about it. They're just cats.  But then I thought of this quote from C.S. Lewis.

"Love anything, care for ayone, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.  If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal.  Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements, lock it up safe in the casket of your selfishness.  But in that casket-safe, drab, motionless, airless-your heart will change.  It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, unredeemable."

This obviously does not simply include animals.  But humans, our loved ones.  And most importantly, our God.

And I was reading through my Beth Moore bible study I'm involved in. The topic is Esther.  She was speaking of people who break our hearts (and our spirits!), don't even realize it, and then get upset at us for being broken.  I'm sure we can all relate to that.  And then she said at least you can be broken.  For those of us who actually feel the pain of criticism, cruelty, and loss; at least our hearts are tender enough to be touched.  

And in some way, that's how I sort of feel with the little kitten who died, and the poor kitten who nearly did.  At least I feel something for them.  A sympathy for their plight.

And then I realize.  There's no reason to feel silly.